16 Mayıs 2018, Çarşamba
I'm your wife and I am a woman before everything else. I did need someone to tell me it is forever. "Do I have the most important place in your heart? Will you always keep me there?"
Oh yeah that was needy. I needed to hear that. "You have -and will always have- that so very most special place in my heart that nobody will be able to reach, touch, shake, or fade."
When you said once again "Hey I can't control how much I love someone." to me that sentence was clear. It was sound of ration and cold reasoning. It sounded clearly: "Yeah someone can one day exceed it honey. We can't possibly know that."
Someone can even 100% take over that place in your heart, in time, in life, so forget about permanent. Forget about infinity. Everything changes.
I know now, my place in your heart may one day not be at the top anymore. As difficult as this is for me to accept and to say, it is the cold truth I suppose. There is nothing carved into stone and nothing is going to be forever. Like you have been saying.. who knows, right? It is life.. It is long. It goes on.. and you live in the day.
How foolish I was to fantasize from the beginning that it is forever for us. How foolish it was of me to think it would be bigger than everything.
I thought it would even exceed the love the parent would have to the kid- which is the biggest form of love I can possibly imagine anyway.
And how foolish it was of me to think that it would beat every odds, and even death.
What a stupid dream I had.
But it was beautiful, my love. Sadly.
It was beautiful as well as it was stupid.
It was a beautiful dream that I didn't want to wake up from.
Küçükken çok mu Ruhsar izledim naaptim ya öf.