07 Kasım 2011, Pazartesi
saat: 02:54


it reminded me of how good i have it, really.
he is right. absolutely. it's scary. but then you can't just let yourself brought down by all the crap.

i was afraid of losing him. i clung to the idea so much, tried hard not to ruffle any feathers. smooth sailing was the goal. i could not let go for a long time because that could mean i would lose him for good. i refused to see the ways it didn't work.
and then i did. i lost him, or more so the idea of us together and guess what? i survived. it's fine. i can let go now. i knew that letting go was always the better choice, and now i get to experience it.
i survived the loss, and as a result, became a better, stronger person.

i finally decorated my room, having moved in three months ago. the housewarming should happen in six months or so.

harm aversion theory of depression.
voxel-based morphometry.
light-therapy with melatonin.
"i want to start treatment as soon as possible."
grief.

it's all getting so meta.
that's what he would say.



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