07 Şubat 2012, Salı
saat: 06:11
i keep having fights in my head.
i keep fighting j, wanting to have been meaner to him, i fight with k because i do miss her in a way, and i fight with b, because i want him to understand me, where i am coming from for some reason. i fight with v and i because i want them to recognize the crazy and do something about it.
i even fight with o, wanting to have things going along faster.
i still cannot get over what s did, and keep looking for the perfect comeback for "it would be a better use of the department's money if you talked to the recruits." what nerve! do all third years have to be super self-righteous and annoying?
worst of all, i keep fighting with myself, especially about saturday night and how i am going to get out of the little situation i created for myself. and i don't even get it, what am i expecting out of this? i don't even have an end goal in mind or a plan of sorts.
your whole life is dedicated to having fun, are you even having any?
and now i might have manipulated people to go to a birthday dinner that didn't exist an hour ago because i have an agenda. ugh.
