09 Şubat 2012, Perşembe
saat: 04:58
flip a coin when you need to make a decision, because you'll realize what you actually want when the coin is in the air.
i don't know why it is so hard for me to admit this.
when we were talking, when i told him everything, there was a short pause. in that moment, i was scared, stressed even, that he would want to start things up again. deep inside i knew i really didn't want to.
there you go.
i got the news that she was at the hospital, and my first thought was that it was a chance at reconciliation. my other thoughts did unfairly include 'oh karma is a bitch babe' and 'oh great now you get to have all the sympathy' but they don't mean shit, really. so i did send her an email, and in her drug-induced-haze she was very appreciative.
i knew it stressed me out a little because i had one of packing/missing planes dreams again. this time, it was somehow my mom's fault and i woke up as soon as i missed my plane. then i had a thought about something supernatural and couldn't go back to sleep for a while.
the saturday mix-up turned out to have real potential. i am not sure what to do. in the past i would have done nothing and waited it out. so i am doing anything and everything now.
do you have pants on?
best question yet.
