09 Şubat 2012, Perşembe
saat: 06:04
To say that she irritates me to the bone is definitely a gross understatement! I know I've been complaining about her to whomever I meet, but I can't help it - she could easily be the weirdest and most unappreciative person ever! I mean, I don't know what she wants. I don't even think she knows what she wants. She requires us to write a 5-7 sentence-long abstracts about each book we read before each class, and then she cuts points just because we do not use citations or examples while writing these abstracts!!! Who on earth uses citations in abstracts anyway? And examples, really? Isn't it enough torture to summarize a 450-page book in 7 sentences? Oh well..apparently not. Plus, it is almost impossible to reach her: she always shows up to her office hours late, if she shows up at all, she doesn't respond to e-mails.. and the class itself is another disaster, because there is no stimulating class discussion whatsoever, and all we do is to listen to other people while they are presenting the main arguments of that week's book, and also to wait until our turn to speak.(Ah yes, we take turns, starting from the person on the left side) She doesn't even comment on what we have to say, for god's sake! I don't say I know it all, but a PhD seminar is not supposed to look like this, right? On top of that, it's a 3-hour class with no break -soo, go figure!!
Anyways, I was freaking out last weekend because of her another ridiculous assignment, in addition to another presentation and a discussion that I had to make in my IR class and I felt like I was coming down with a cold (as usual, perfect timing! Remember last semester and how I got my bronchitis?) -so I can't say I had a particularly nice weekend even if I had fun. That N. and I became a "family" was the only highlight, I guess. I drank God-knows-how-many cups of Tylenol, took my vitamins, actually paid attention to what I ate and stuff -so I was able to maintain and get some work done, at least. And Monday's terrible headache (which I had thanks to J., who couldn't stop bitching about his mom's broken hip and her subsequent "emotional distress") suddenly disappeared after my visit to Prof. O. He said that the theory people did not like recruiting people from outside their circle, but I could be the exception if I wanted to; because, apparently, my performance in his class was "brilliant" and I totally deserved his 'best discussion questions' award. Huh! I wasn't expecting that! I mean, he's not someone who goes around and says stuff like that to everyone. So I couldn't even think of anything intelligent to say at that moment, all I was able to do was to thank him and say I was very much honored. And, yeah, to think that it was really these small victories that prevented me from jumping out of window!!
Yesterday's presentation was not bad, either. Prof. M. came and thanked me in person after the class, and both J. and G. said I did a very good job leading the discussion. Needless to say, I felt elated! And although I had to pull all-nighter last night to finish my paper, I think I submitted a decent argument, so I'm not stressing until the second draft. Wait -why was I stressing in the first place, again? I only have a couple of papers to write every week, and a shitload of books to read -but that's nothing, compared to a thesis project, right? I "do go out", I "do hang out with friends", I have "a better social life than most people" - so why should I be stressed? I shouldn't, and that's the end of the story. Umm, yeah, true..except that you haven't seen anything yet. Watch me next semester while I'm taking my comps.
By the way, speaking of comps, since A. passed hers 2 weeks ago but we never had a chance to celebrate it, we arranged a "weekend getaway" at her place. I'll be basically staying with her, we'll have sleepovers, slumber parties (or actual parties, depending on others' plans for the weekend -and my decision to attend the CES dinner or not) breakfasts with all our favorite friends, and study sessions to actually finish our work. Yay!! Just like G. and I used to do all the time! So I said the whole plan sounded perfect and she texted me back saying that she even told her boyfriend how excited she was about our date for the weekend! hahaah! And I'm invited to a dinner party at B.'s house tomorrow, which means I don't have to cook for myself -so I really don't know what else I could ask for.
Life is good. Despite everything, surprisingly good.
