29 Eylül 2014, Pazartesi
saat: 17:42
I guess it’s true what they say: if you wait long enough everything changes.
Never ask, never demand, never expect and never assume. Wonder what else is real. Question everything. Predict several potential futures. Predict every potential failure. Worry that this feeling might end somehow. Imagine yourself dying too soon. Wonder if you will ever feel like this again. Imagine your heart breaking. Imagine their heart breaking and feel like your heart is actually breaking as a result. Wonder if “soulmates” are a real thing. Worry that you will never sufficiently be able to thank them for everything. Wonder if they can tell you’re freaking out. Don’t say anything. Say literally everything. Fuck. This is too real. You are not built for this.
He asked me what the hell I thought this was and I said, "That’s what I’m trying to figure out." Of course, his response was just a simple "You don’t want to let go, but don’t want to be hurt, either. It’s not a great place to be but what can I tell you?" Then we stayed on the couch for a long time, me waiting for him to fall in love with me, him waiting for whatever.
Most people would throw away all their cynicism if they could. The majority just never gets the chance.
