19 Aralık 2014, Cuma
saat: 00:34
in my head i write here every day all the time.
the devil you know. the same devil in another body, building, street.
feels like a break up. in stead of one person though, i am breaking up with a whole bunch.
so there is pushing and maybe that's what i really need. certainly not what i want. not what i feel.
i wish we could all get along like we used to in middle school... i wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy...
and nothing would have to change and it would all work out.
fifth year. worse than a tramp stamp.
i may seem aloof because i have make myself feel numb or i might explode. either sobbing uncontrollably or stripping naked and running in the street screaming at the top of my lungs explode.
there really is no need though.
it is just the unknown mostly. and the pressure. and the changes. and leaving people behind. and imagining the worst outcomes. and fear.
i shouldn't resist change right?
it was a long time coming right?
something had to be done right?
this can lead to something wonderful right?
i should stop being paralyzed by fear right?
there is no need for feeling guilty right?
this can all be for the better right?
there are people who will be there for me still right?
it is not that huge of a deal right?
i am not the first person who was in this situation right?
i could actually accomplish a lot this way right?
my horoscope predicted this so it should be ok right?
i should adapt and adjust and move on right?
i do like trying new things right?
i have done similar things before right?
i can always visit right?
it is not like i could not wait to go in every day right?
i could get used to a new routine right?
i should relax a bit right?
i might even enjoy this right?
a little tarnished but blank slate is not a bad idea right?
pleasure and pain, different sides of the same coin right?
this could help people more directly right?
i don't care about 'the bad consequences' of mj right?
i am fed up with the big promises that do not lead anywhere right?
i should be able to be proud of what i do right?
i should also be able to explain it in more than a few vague sentences right?
i should own what i am doing right?
i have the training and background and it is time to put all that into good use right?
he tried but i need more right?
failures teach people something right?
i am leaving it better than i found it right?
in all honesty, i will not be missed much right?
things will go on as they always have right?
there will be more similar-tasked people around me right?
this is actually an amazing opportunity right?
i should be grateful and excited right?
i should always take what someone says with a grain of salt right?
i am loved right?
if it really does not work out it is not the absolute end right?
nothing is the absolute end, well except for death, right?
there will always be opportunities right?
doors opening and closing right?
right?
right?
right?
pursue your passion with vigor.
twice.
apps.
