25 Mart 2015, Çarþamba
saat: 17:34
"Just for tonight, let’s pretend that we don’t both know what is coming on the heels of the dawn.
Let’s get out of here, just you and me. I don’t need the promise of tomorrow and yesterday tastes bitter in my mouth. I want to watch the sun rise over a landscape that breaks into all the things I never thought I’d see; all the things I was too afraid to reach for. We’ll take your car and I’ll man the radio, I’ll play the soundtrack of my life and you’ll smile like you don’t know. We can chase the memory of passion lost, a trail growing colder with every mile we leave behind.
Let’s turn ourselves into something we’re not. I’ll be that girl the broken slivers of me once dreamed of being and you can pretend you’re everything I thought I wanted. We can build ourselves using the pieces others left behind; all those lofty ideals and unrealistic gems of plastic brilliance. A fair and convincing façade from across the room, just don’t get too close or you’ll see the cracks in the warped glass. We’ll be actors in a play that has no audience aside from our two silly hearts that are so damn set on ruining the lines. You’ll say you love me and I’ll smile and say ‘I know.’
Let’s pretend that you don’t see my romantic restlessness as childishness and I don’t see your calculated insensitivity as just another proof of your unfailing indifference to the wonder of the universe.
Instead, we can fool ourselves into believing that we will try try to fall in love with the unknowns in one another instead. We can attempt to figure out the road maps to each other’s hearts, instead of planning the eventual “maybe we should call it a day” talk. We can pretend that we don’t already know how this ends. We can decide that here and now is our destination. We can forget the heartbreaks and the twists of fate and the betrayals that brought us to this point. We can choose to believe this isn’t just another one of those mistakes.
Even though we both know that isn’t true. Even though we know that by dawn we will have realized what a bad idea this is. You will go back to your constants and I will go back to my unknowns. By tomorrow, we will look on each other with cold eyes and even colder hearts. By tomorrow, this will be nothing but a rosy memory, a fading mistake. But tonight, let’s smile and laugh and share quiet moments of inescapable incertitude. If only for tonight, let’s pretend."
