03 Ocak 2021, Cumartesi
saat: 01:30
ok I KNOW I shouldn’t do this but I think I am delaying the draft one more day... my headache is still bad and *mumble mumble excuse excuse* so I think I’ll read today with the cat who insists on being cradled like a baby while i read AND write tomorrow instead of write to the editors today work on the syllabus tomorrow.
I don’t usually set new year’s resolutions & this is not really a “habit” I want to develop but I hope I am able to get back into research this year. 2020 wasn’t quite a lost year for me, but intellectually it was a year where all of my energies were focused on the present and the immediate future, and I found it almost impossible to do any kind of long-range thinking or planning. I think it is easy for me to drift into mindlessness where I am just living on autopilot and reaching for immediate gratification without much consideration for longer-term goals. that was completely understandable this year and tbh was probably my brain’s way of protecting itself from all the free-floating anxiety and anger and grief. but I can feel the fog very slowly beginning to dissipate and I want to gradually ease myself back into doing the kind of work that brings l me joy and gives me a sense of purpose.
It was a strange winter and nothing and everything happened.
-Gertrude Stein, The Autobiography of Alice B. Toklas
