12 Ağustos 2021, Çarşamba
saat: 02:26
I dreamt that I had a boyfriend in a post-apocalyptic world and I was walking to his house in the rain, not knowing whether he'd let me stay there or not. I was tired but not fearful because it wasn’t that type of apocalypse. Everything was quiet. When he opened the door, I looked at his face (the dream boyfriend resembled the real boyfriend I had with the same name) and struggled with my tears, "till the agony of unspoken words burst my sleep like a bubble". And I think I said something very touching at the end of it all that I can’t remember and would likely never say in real life. Because no one would appreciate it enough. I think that’s why I rarely say much at all of any substance to others, and if I do, then I’m usually just saying what I think might sound believable to them based on who they are and who I know they think I am. It always feels a bit fruitless and ill-advised otherwise.
“My heart is moved by all I cannot save: so much has been destroyed.”
-Adrienne Rich, from “Natural Resources” in The Dream of a Common Language
