17 Ocak 2022, Pazartesi
saat: 19:15
"The cold blast of morning air momentarily silenced her wretched thoughts and feelings. Then it hit her: I am so tired."
I was SO grumpy about going back to work last week... for some reason I dragged my feet so much about starting the new semester and I think it’s because some deeply buried part of me is always convinced that THIS semester is going to be the semester where I am exposed as an incompetent hack who has no idea what I'm doing lol. which is silly but, you know, THE BRAIN. anyway I was very grumpy about getting started but then last Wednesday, I gave a presentation on a topic that I wasn't very familiar with and still received really positive feedback & also started reading another book on extremists and was like awww okay fine I do love my job. I find the work itself deeply meaningful and I love that teaching world politics allows me to vicariously learn new stuff about different fields all the time. It’s intellectually stimulating and I hope that the interpersonal stuff is also going to be rewarding. Perhaps working with students for a full year (4 of the 5 students in my capstone seminar took my upper level course last semester) will be even nicer because I will get to see so much more sustained growth - who knows.
I just would like this year to be less sad.
